Speaking of unhealthy lifestyle...

Well, yesterday, I began blogging again. And it strikes to me that i havent been living a healthy lifestyle since I moved out from Kuching. I havent been regularly jogging. In fact, last i remembered, I only jogged once since I really moved out from Kuching and that was one lonely stressful night, exactly a week before my Royal college of surgeons exam. I flunked, by the way. Hope I can retake and pass the exam. I have been continuing the revision.

Speaking of living life unhealthily, I have been eating foods that are too sweet for my bloodstream, and too fattening fod my tummy and hips. Junk foods and fast foods are becoming a regular meal. And i vow to myself I will restrain from all these things that are corrupting my life. I am planning to get myself a real weight scale, but i havent really got the chance to get it.

Anyway, i jogged this morning. While everyone in the city being overly ambitious, rushing to work, here i am in this small town called Indera Mahkota, having a nice stroll of morning fresh air. Ahh, so serene! Well, after a reckless weekend with eating, restless nights thinking that my tummy are getting flabbier, I finally am able to force myself to get up at 6, to prepare myself for a freshful morning jog. I forgot how great it feels like to be doing this, once upon a time. Im planning to get myself some breakfast, before i really starve for lunch. And hopefully, with this blogspot standing by me, I keep myself straight, forward, and positive towards aiming my 30 wishlists.

30 before 30

I recently found this blog post entitled 30 before 30 while I was blog-hopping on a boring Sunday. It speaks of accomplishments, inspiration, just the will to live. It inspires me to write again, after so many months of abandoning the blogging world.

On a typical Sunday noon, I would be reading, focusing on my studies. But not today. As of today, I'm blog hopping as i happily would, googling the images of twinkle twinkle little lights. I have always loved colorful, twinkling lights at night. I remember I would get really excited when my parents would bring us out at night for a drive to the city, to look at the lights hanging on the trees & roadsides, and the tall buildings with lights. I friggin love them. 

At this age (I’m 25 now, another 4 months to hit 26), I dreamed of having my own house, designing them as vintage as I could, and would love every angle of the house that I would live in with a person that I love, tolerable enough to live as modest as we want. There’s this lovely image that I have in my head that I can’t wait to let it out and make them a reality. I imagine my life beyond 30. I marvel a lot on what I could accomplish, what I wish to possess, how I fancy my life joyfully. I picture the serenity of the environment surrounding me, with a lovely husband, and children (in God’s will), a respected career. That’s where I want to be. Nowhere luxurious but nowhere deprived. Just somewhere in between, something humble.
But then again, I’m only 25. And I have a few wish lists: 30 before 30. 

Another 5 years to achieve these wish lists. Its quite impossible as I am an ambitious, dream big type of person, hence I decided to extend it till maybe 45.

1. Get a Master’s Degree in OMFS (hopefully by 32).
2. Bring Mama travel back to Edinburgh.
3. Buy a house and design it vintage.

4. Travel to Europe with a lover.

5. Be able to afford an awesome sports car, like the bimmers M series.
6. Be financially stable. 300K, health insurance, savings, all that jazz.
7. Marry the man I love and can’t see myself being with anyone else.
8. Have kids and teach them how to be awesome.

9. Run a successful business with a partner (aka husband).
10. Honeymooning at the Maldives island.
11. Build and design my own backyard garden with twinkling lights.
12. Run a marathon.
13. Make myself comfortable wearing the hijab.
14. Have a flat abs.
15. Throw an amazing dinner party at home, and have cooked all the food myself and design the theme myself.


16. Learn to love the hot weather. Or at least, not hate it.
17. Live in a town that I am happy to be a part of.
18. Have an awesome room all to myself to focus on myself.
19. Organize a family day by the beach.
20. Volunteer for a good cause.
21. Take one day and ride a bike to a fresh market, buy fresh food, cook it, and be happy I did so.
22. Become a full blown modern muslimah.
23. Be happy with the physical shape I’m in.



24. Live a healthy lifestyle.
25. Publish an article to an international publication.
26. Have happy, healthy children that don’t despise me. And be able to help them in college.
27. Become a successful respected surgeon.
28. Stop caring about what others think about me.
29. Live life making wise choices.
30. Not regret a single thing.

Will I be able to achieve these? Let us see. InsyaAllah.

Lets pray for Hidayah

"The Prophet's mind and heart had indeed been expanded and purified: the burden which pressed on his soul had been removed; and his name exalted in this world and the next. For the righteous man there is no trouble. But is linked with ease and joy; he must strive at every stage, and look to Allah alone as the goal of all his hopes." - Surah Al-Inshirah commentary by Abdullah Yusuf Ali

I begin this post with a verse adapted from the Holy Quran. For the past few weeks, for the past few months to be frank, i have not been in a very good place of mind and heart. I think too much. Mostly about my future and about my career in dentistry. I have been staring at this blank post for more than half a day and I was speechless, thoughtless, typeless. I came back from the clinic, continue staring at this blank post for another half an hour when i realized that I have so much to do at home. But my mind just couldn't tell my body to get up and get going. Instead, i lay down on my bed and just stare at the blank white ceiling, thinking, but nothing came up. I didnt have a clue how I came to this. What has been bothering me lately? Ever since I moved to this small town, I have been alone. I stayed at home alone. At work, although i have same level colleagues, but I just do things on my own. I dont talk to them that much. What happened to me? I kinda became anti-social. I rarely laugh nowadays you know. Sigh.

 

I was invited by the dean of Dental Faculty IIUM in Kuantan Health Campus to join their service as a lecturer (trainee) in the department of Oral Surgery. Though it sounds exclusive, interesting and challenging, but I have always wanted to return home, in Subang Jaya. And yesterday, I was given the news that my application to UiTM as a lecturer trainee was successful. Unfortunately for me, they're putting me in the paediatric dentistry department. When i went to the interview, I managed to show and persuade them how much I love Orthodontics but unluckily for me, the department was fully occupied and they're placing me in a different one instead. Now, I am in the verge of making a decision of my life. My whole life, my whole future, my whole career depends on how i decide NOW. How shall i say this.. its just crazy for me. I feel like i'm carrying the burden of my whole unpredictable future. 

Lets just pray for guidance from Allah subhanawataala for a prosperous successful future. InsyaAllah.