Monday, April 13, 2015

Unsent letter...

Dear Farizul,

Some time this month, 2 years ago, was the day I first chatted with you. From the moment we started talking, I knew I wanted you around. And after seeing you that very first night in the airport, I already knew I wanted you around forever. Two months it took for us to learn about each other from a distance. And two days together. That’s all it took. Two days for me to fall in love with you, to give myself to you. Now, we are forever apart. But what’s forever apart after 6 months being together like that – 6 months of kindness and purity, of believing in hopes and having faith in building dreams together. Just 6 months with you and I am severely affected by you quitting and chickening out. You made me a promise. A pinky promise. A promise I knew you would keep. But boy was I wrong. Everything I thought I knew were beautiful and true, turned out fake. Lies.

You left so suddenly. You didn’t call or message. Knowing that any communication with me at that time would have changed your mind. You’re a coward. And so full of yourself. You thought so little of the relationship that you couldn’t even call to explain yourself. You thought so little of me that its so easy for you to come in and walk out just like that. You thought so little of me like I am nothing, just a piece of meat that you break and then dispose of. You broke me. I gave out every truth and purity. And you were supposed to be my last, to be the one that is going to stay no matter what comes. But you broke yourself, you broke your own promises, and you broke me.

“Love is an outpouring of everything goodness in you – of kindness and consideration, respect and calmness”. I have lost all that with you. I could not be kind to you and I was not calm. How could I respect you then? I guess you are right. We have lost the love. The love has died. What we had was magic and could have been truly beautiful. But you got selfish and impatient. You’re disrespectful, bitter, cruel, and inconsiderate. You’re childish and heartless. For the sake of Allah, I pray that you get out of this hole you dug 6 feet under.

Two years it has been since we first talked. Two days to fall in love. And two heartbreaking moments. That's all it took. Now, this is just another tragedy. A sweet calamity. You decided to leave. You decided to screw up. I should not be the one stuck in this unfortunate event. If, in how ever circumstance, that you are reading this. I just want you to know, Thank You for leaving me. For if it weren’t for you, I would not have understood the purpose of Life and the beauty of understanding It.

Yours truly.

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