Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Monday, June 25, 2012

I just love you.



Words demand explanation. They require analysis. They are the construction and expression of my thoughts. Of my heart. But they can't describe it. They can't describe any of it. They can't tell you how deep the memories are, or how often I think of them. They can't scream what I really want to say. They are the mask of how I really feel and they try to disguise the pain. But somehow, someone will strip it away. And someone will make those words worthless.

So what is a word worth? Nothing. What are three words worth? Nothing. But we say them anyway, because you know! You know more than anyone what they mean. You know when I say I love you, I really mean that those three words can't describe what it is we have. When I say you're amazing, I know the word is just a cover; a quick way for me to remember all the things that amaze me about you, a mask for the memories we share, a disguised version of our adventures together. And I really believe that you know, when I say I miss you, it's not just that. I miss you every moment, and I miss just what your name means to me. It means an alphabet of sounds and letters and words. But none of them really mean anything, because words are based on trust, they rely on how truly and deeply we feel.

Remember, always, that they don't mean anything, they are letters and they are constructions, but we deconstruct them every day and we twist them; we manipulate them so that they say what we want them to. But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.

Much love.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Terms and conditions of trust.

I live and work in Betong. But life for me was never there. Despite trying to save teeth (which the community here so much refuses) and ensuring people's general health, my presence in Betong does not really mean much. Every weekend i would drive 3 and a half hours down to Kuching just to relax, enjoy the lights and sounds of noise for awhile, and be happy. In other direct words, i would drive 3 hours down to the city just to see someone i love. Yes, love! I certainly do not dare to say this 4 letter word but i did. I love, again. And to be honest, I'm not slightly scared about it. Because I'm happy. Truly happy. And I feel safe, even when we are distant. I feel like i can trust again, and i did. But is that the right thing to do?