New Years Resolution Much?

I figured it out. I figured out our relationship. We are the happiest together when we are apart. Together we are detrimental to one another. It took me some time to get here and I don't know how I did it but I figured out you and me.

It goes to the basics. You and I are motivated by one thing in life, that is success. You and I both live for our dreams and passions. We have strong urge to follow what is in our desired dreams. When we met each other, our universes collided. The attraction, the powerlessness, the paralysis, the desire, the pain, the lust, the need was there yet it was hopelessly unworkable. To pursue that desire would translate to giving up part of our devotion to what we do in real life. The harder we would try to pursue one another the more we would get lost and disappointed in each other and in ourselves. Each one of us would hate to see the other give up the devotion to what we do. Because one would know how much the one valued it. We loved watching each other succeed yet the more we would succeed the more we would get separated from each other...

You were strong, I was weak. You made me feel completely weak... The more we would try to fit in and try to get together, the more each one of us would get disappointed and sad that the other one wasn't real. And it drove us to insanity, to bully each other, to close up, to lose sight of reality and we were disintegrating as people. The environments we grew up in planted different dreams in us and we were deeply devoted to them.

Although you have been faithful to me, I have betrayed you. I have broken promises. I don't know what I see in life anymore. One year apart, grew us apart. And I am becoming a person you no longer know. Our efforts became meaningless, our hopes and dreams went down the drain. But yet we are still here.

To see you with someone who can make you happy and would put a smile on your face and help you fulfil all your dreams would give me a sense of unbearable lightness. I was never big enough to fill your shoes and may be yours were just too big to fit into mine, but i have come to a realization that no matter how big your shoes are, your happiness is key to mine. I swear I still love you, you Joker. You are my new year's resolution and life-long happiness, know that! Happy New Year.