Tuesday, October 29, 2013

No poetic letter.

"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music"- Søren Kierkegaard

I knew the day would come when he had to leave. Again. Leave again for work in the middle of the deep-sea, seafaring through rough swells. And I am well aware that when this day comes, I have no choice except to put on my brave and strong self. But to no avail, I fell short. Short and disparaging to a point where I had to sigh and cry those three letter words to myself, I love you; I miss you, wishing that you would hear those cries. I don’t like that we are 1179 miles apart. I don’t like the brief 5 minutes call from the vague noisy satellite phone call. I don’t like looking through all our photos before sleep. And I certainly don’t like not having you by my side.

Nonetheless, I am delighted with the fact that we are still in similar time zones. I am excited to see your name appearing on my caller id every time my phone rings even if it’s just once in 2 days. I am captivated by your smile in all of the photos we shared. And even though you are not around, knowing that we are still in each others’ hearts gives me the warmth and calamity I longed for.

Tonight, I don’t wish to be poetic. I just wanna let these sighs and cries pass over without any music at all and to let you know that I have been happy despite them all.

And by them all, I refer to our long distance, our brief phone conversations, and the fact that we get to spend time together only 3 times a year. I am happy with holding on to the pictures of you, spending quality time through facetime, seeing you in the tiny screen of my phone, wearing your jerseys and sweaters whenever I needed your warmth.

I’m glad to have found you now, rather than before. I may not have seen all of you but you share with me the best of you and the worst of you. I have come to learn to appreciate that God puts us in situations so that we can become who we are now in each others’ lives. I came into your life at the right time, with the right reasons, and the right feelings. Even though we're so different, I have always believed that you are the yin to my yang. And I am so glad to have you in my life now, and hopefully in years to come. I promised to love you through thick and thin. Thank you for coming into my life and making it a better place to live in.


And know that I have nothing else I look forward to but your return. Sail home safe, my dear. 

No comments:

Post a Comment